Welcome. Today the menu is a triumph of genius: scooters becoming cars, the dead still floating, showers that make you lose weight, and devils in the cloud. We serve it hot, but the disgust is already at room temperature.
Electric Scooters: The License Plate That Will Save Italy (and the Agency Bureaucrats)
Starting today, May 16, every scooter circulating without a license plate risks a fine of up to €400. To obtain one, you need twenty days, documents, a tax code, and about €35 if you do it yourself, or €80 if you hire an agency. Italian genius strikes again: we transform a vehicle born to reduce traffic into another source of bureaucracy and fees. Naturally, those who have already started the process but have not yet received the sticker could still be fined. The ministry has not commented. Assoutenti asks for clarification. The answer, as always, will be silence. And then, mandatory insurance from July 16. Because, as we know, scooters are the true killers of Italian roads. Not cars, not trucks, not human distractions. No, the public enemy number one is that vehicle that goes 20 km/h and often replaces the car. But licensing it serves to fill the state coffers and keep agencies busy. The rest is just smoke.
Yellow Alert in Nine Regions: Bad Weather Reminds Us the Planet Still Exists
Rain, thunderstorms, strong winds, snow on the Alps at 1,300 meters. In mid-May. The latest confirmation that the climate has gone mad, but our rulers are too busy discussing scooters to notice. Civil Protection launches the alert, citizens huddle in coats, farmers weep over crops. And the major media? They mention it in two lines, between a segment on cold showers and one on AI exorcisms. Because climate disaster makes no audience. Climate disaster is boring, always the same. Better to tell how to lose weight standing under cold water. At least that sells.
Maldives, Five Dead: The Sea Returns a Body, But Not the Truth
The body of Gianluca Benedetti has been recovered. The other four are still in a cave at 60 meters depth. Search operations are high-risk, Maldivian coast guard divers take turns, the Italian ambassador promises “maximum attention.” The husband of Monica Montefalcone, Carlo Sommacal, defends the victims’ experience: “My wife is multi-certified, my daughter is an expert, they were all serious divers.” So what happened? The yellow alert? The cave? Oxygen toxicity? Panic? No answers. The University of Genoa specifies that the dive was not part of the scientific mission, but was “personal.” A clarification that smells of shifting responsibility. Meanwhile, the bodies remain down there, and families wait. Minister Tajani strengthens the team in Male. But of truth, still no trace. Only the silence of the sea, which is more deafening than any word.
Cold Shower to Lose Weight: The Science You Don’t Expect (and Don’t Need)
A British-Dutch study on 47 people reveals that wearing a cooling vest for two hours a day causes a loss of almost one kilogram of fat in six weeks. Professor Budge hypothesizes that a morning cold shower could have the same effect. For ninety seconds. The commentator enthusiastically remarks: “A simple and inexpensive addition to lifestyle strategies.” Yes, of course. Because wearing an ice jacket while working at a computer is very simple. And taking a cold shower every morning is a pleasure. But the best part is that the researchers are funded by Heart Foundations, and are studying whether cold prevents cardiovascular diseases. Too bad most people don’t have the time, money, or desire to wear cooling vests. Better a walk, better an apple, better a deep breath. But that doesn’t make news. The news is the magic pill, even if it is an ice pill.
Exorcisms with Artificial Intelligence: The Devil Updates, So Does the Church
The international course on exorcisms at the Regina Apostolorum University has discovered a new threat: faithful using AI to drive Satan away alone. Chatbots acting as priests, algorithms suggesting prayers, portals to other dimensions. The phenomenon “frightens the Church.” Good thing. Because the real danger is not the devil, but the idea that software can replace a secular ritual, human relationship, faith. But then again, we live in an era where we license scooters and take cold showers to lose weight. Why shouldn’t we exorcise with AI? The secretary of GrIS, Ferrari, sums it up: “The course was highly appreciated.” Of course. Until a chatbot arrives to replace them too.
Today, dear readers, we have witnessed yet another show of the absurd. Scooters to license, climate to ignore, the dead to wait for, diets to freeze, devils to digitize. RVSCB does not tire of watching. But you should tire of enduring. Turn off the news, turn on your conscience. It is the only filter that still works.
RVSCB – Archive of Uncomfortable Truths, May 16, 2026
“I am not interested in being loved. I am interested in being read after they have hated me.”
